Saturday, August 4, 2012

College life is depressing

                               
                              
Philippians 3:14 <3 // bracelet from : Arteh
They think I'm stupid.... I feel stupid. 

Am I stupid?


                             It's been pretty tough for the past two weeks for me. College life is different- waaaay different. 

In highschool, I was a big fish stuck in a small pond.
But in college, I am just a fish........ lost in an ocean.

I've been having emotional breakdowns every now and then. Out of nowhere, depressions just kick in, together with stress and anxiety.

The results of my quizzes are ugly.
Math is torturing me.
My first ever long test in Philosophy is crap.
People think of me as a joke--- and it's not even funny.


I feel stupid. Am I stupid? 
I am underestimated. They see me as one ordinary, naive little girl who likes to play dress up. 
No one takes me seriously.

They think I'm stupid. And ordinary. And naive.

I feel stupid. Am I stupid?
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Have you ever experienced that unexplainable moment when God just whispers something to you? Well, I can't elaborate on it much further. But, I genuinely felt that the Lord was trying to tell me to hold on to His Word. 

While I was having an emotional break down last Thursday (because I flunked the Philo long test which EVERYONE ELSE thought was easy), He gave me Philippians 3:14. I did not know anything about that verse. I didn't even know it existed. But I just wrote it on my hand so that I won't forget. When I got home, I Googled it up and found this:

Philippians  3:14 : "I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
                             
A simpler version would be:

[NLT]: I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us up to heaven. (NLT-Tyndale House)

Lord, I don't really understand what's happening (with me) right now, but all I know is that You have plans for me, and that everything will be better in time.

 These are all just trials and obstacles; these are just part  of the race.
 You are preparing me for something BIGGER and BETTER than my wildest dreams. Lord, I just want to tell you that I trust in you and in your Good and Pleasing Will. 

And that is why I am fighting towards the end of the race.....

Because I know that you are running it with me.



<3

14 comments:

  1. Be strong Hershey :)
    We love you :*

    ReplyDelete
  2. My freshman year was that time when I lost a lot of pounds, became so ugly and stressed out, and thought college wasn't for me.

    All I can say... Lick your wounds and feel your pain, while pulling yourself up. You need that "initiation" to advance yourself to the next level.

    You'll do great, I promise. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There are times when I think of maybe dropping, but then I told myself I'm not a quitter- never was, and never wil.

      Thank you, ate Tina. You don't know how much you've encouraged me to stay strong. You are a blessing to me. :)

      Delete
  3. dont worry hershey :) great things happen for those who wait. i understand what you mean completely. i was in your shoes. they thought of me as an underdog.. but kept doing what you are doing because you are doing just fine. nursing is tough.. people take it way too seriously but its alright. focus on your studies and think about the end prize. i told you this already, you are destined for something great.. something mayo clinic.. LOL

    and for those people who persecuted you because of "who you are", your status and your personal style.. just smile.. cause in the end, you will be the one wholl end up laughing. youll know what i mean!

    Keep it up! we miss you!

    AJ :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hate this feeling. I hate it when people think of me as a joke. I hate feeling inferior...

      But you're right.

      All I'm going to do is focus. focus. focus. I won't let anything stop me from reaching the end.


      I love you, Kuya AJ. You inspire me. You're the best. :)

      Delete
  4. GPOY everyday in UP.
    Don't worry Hershey, college is really like that. For example, during my last sem, I failed my 1st long exam, but then I still managed to get a decent grade on that subject.

    Don't compare yourself to other people. Seriously, you'll be disappointed in yourself.
    Just learn from your past mistakes, and do better next time. Pwede pang bumawi! 8D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey ate Joby!
      Thank you. You've taught me something new: to stop comparing myself to others, and just FIGHT.

      We can do this. :D
      God bless!

      Delete
  5. Honestly, that's just how I feel too when I first entered UP. Everything would be ok dear :) My freshman year was the hardest too. I hardly had any friends. Swerte pa nga kayo you have blockmates in UPM but in LB you have different set of people every class, you go to lunch alone things like that. And the worst is when there are people who think so high of themselves grabe. ang sarap tirisin diba?! Hahaha! But in the end you'll realize na salamat sa mga taong to kasi they challenge you to do better pa nga in the future :)

    Cheer up! Optimism is the key :) You know what you can do, you stick and maximize it and you'll never get lost :)

    (Sorry ang haba. I can relate lang kasi :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi! Thank you so much. I'm glad that someone can relate to me.

      Thank you for cheering me up, and for teaching me to maximize my potentials.

      We can do this! :) Thank you po talaga. >:)< You are a blessing to me.

      Delete
  6. When you're feeling down in the dumps, always think that there are tons of other people out there who have it worse than yours. For what it's worth, I suffer from a very embarrasing malady, it has made me reclusive for years, it ended my college diploma dream in a snap, and had me cringed at the thought of pursuing job applications in the real world.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Itin, thank you for opening my eyes.

      I am praying for you. Always remember Philippians 3:14. :)
      God bless.

      Delete
  7. Love it, can't wait to see what you do next! Come check out my blog, maybe we can follow each other!
    Material Fixations

    ReplyDelete
  8. This blog post came just in time. I'll be having mg 1st long exam in Philosophy later. And that is, 10 hours from now. :|

    I've been feeling the same way, too, during the first two months. I feel like I do not deserve to be in UP. But, dapat laging positive! Always think of the people who believe in you and try making those people who put you down as your inspiration to do better :) Tama si Ate sa taas. Sobrang swerte niyo sa UPM dahil may sense yung "block". Dito sa LB, pang GI lang. -_- Joke lang =)) Kering keri yan! Go Iska! :)


    PS Sister mo yung nasa UPCAT the Movie db? Wala lang. Showing kasi dito sa LB on Saturday. :)

    -M

    ReplyDelete

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